


The Sacrifice

by Malu_3 (Grainne)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Arthur Pendragon Returns, Cats, Domestic, Humor, M/M, Magical War, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5164595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grainne/pseuds/Malu_3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Fifty-six days since the Sidhe broke through the last of the old seals and declared war on Great Britain. Fifty-five days since Arthur's return from Avalon. Thirty-five days since the start of Arthur's personal sexual revolution…</i>
</p>
<p>In which Kil is still a meddling so-and-so but, when it comes to wartime sacrifices, Merlin will take a debauched pop culture icon over a dead friend in any lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArgentSleeper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentSleeper/gifts).



> Dear ArgentSleeper, congratulations on your line bingo! It was a pleasure creating this for you - I loved your prompt, and can only beg your forgiveness for where my brain - and Arthur's - went with it. ;-) Also, I'm apparently useless at proper drabbles, so you're getting a ficlet. Hope that's ok.
> 
> **ETA 11/07/15:** This is a re-upload of a gift work I accidentally deleted. Apologies to ArgentSleeper and to any who previously read/bookmarked/left kudos/comments I had not yet replied to. They were much appreciated!

_Fifty-six days since the Sidhe broke through the last of the old seals and declared war on Great Britain. Fifty-five days since Arthur's return from Avalon. Thirty-five days since the start of Arthur's personal sexual revolution…and a welcome surge in the power of Merlin's magic._

* * *

Merlin hastily signs for the package on his way out the door. He's halfway to the station before he realises he's still carrying the thing and jams it into his gym bag. He's running late. Again. 

After all these years, Arthur is still a handful in the morning. Two handfuls, actually, if Merlin's being honest. Not that he's complaining.

He forgets about the package for the three days he's immersed, sometimes literally, in solving the latest string of royal kidnappings up in The Lakes. He survives on tea, magic, digestive biscuits, and the thought of Arthur's splendid, living, blissfully _dry_ warmth waiting for him when he gets home.

He forgets about it the next day, too, as their lovely lie-in is interrupted by reports of a Changeling Horde terrorising Mayfair and St James's. It's not until the following morning that he re-discovers the thing while searching for his second-best umbrella – because it’s raining toads in Parliament. Again. The Sidhe are nothing if not predictable.

Grinning, he unwraps the package and spells the toy free from its plastic prison. He'd ordered it online a few weeks ago, after Arthur had been complaining of how tight he felt. Arthur's still sleeping off his battle with the Changelings, so Merlin charges it, sets it out beside the bath atop the instruction pamphlet, and leaves an explanatory note stuck to the mirror.

He is long gone by the time Kil saunters in the flap, fresh from his own night-time escapades. The old tom takes a tour of the cottage, sniffing out what's new and making his fearsome presence known to any resident mice before settling in for a well-earned nap atop a stack of clean towels.

That evening Merlin stumbles through the front door juggling the shopping with his now toad-slimed brolly. He stashes the latter in the stand beside Arthur's second-best sword, telling himself he'll deal with it later. Right now, all he wants is a proper, toad-free meal followed by a hot bath. 

However. 

In the lounge he's brought up short by the sight of Arthur sprawled on the sofa – sprawled _nude_ amidst lube packets and crumpled Kleenex, head flung back, one hand slowly fisting his cock. His other hand is jammed down underneath, engaged in enthusiastically buggering himself with…something bright yellow?

Merlin drops the groceries on the floor, squawking in outrage when he sees what it is. His poor rubber ducky's head is squashed in Arthur's fist, its little orange beak peeping between clenched fingers while its plucky tail end goes slip-sliding in and out.

Arthur starts at the sound, lifting his head. For a moment he pauses, blinking at the broccoli and potatoes scattered across the floor. Then he flashes Merlin a lopsided grin and resumes his previous activities. "Hello, Merlin! I'll be done in a minute if you want a go. This thing's… _ah_ … amazing. Always wondered what it was for."

With another squawk, Merlin rushes into the bathroom, nearly tripping over that damn stray from down the lane.

He finds his note still in place: _Cheers for all your help with fairy mess; try toy by bath to relieve your stress! PS Will def need this + bath tonight – more toads! – but feel free to start w/o me_

The instruction pamphlet for the new cordless, waterproof wand massager in midnight blue, however, is nothing but a mess of claw-shredded paper on the floor. There is a tell-tale mat of black and ginger fur atop the stack of towels by the radiator, and the massager itself is gone.

"Everything alright?" Arthur calls out. 

Merlin closes his eyes, furiously rubbing at the spot in between. He's going to have words with that cat – turn it into a garden statue, perhaps, or a gargoyle. In the meantime he'll ask Arthur to seal up the flap, nail it shut if – 

"Merlin? What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Merlin calls out, dropping to his hands and knees, frantically hunting for the massager. "Just…really needed to pee. I'll be right there!"

He finds it, eventually, wedged beneath the radiator with the dust mice. He spells it clean and, after only a moment's hesitation, sneaks into the bedroom and buries it at the bottom of his sock drawer. 

In another lifetime he might have marched right out and explained the mix-up, teased Arthur about single-handedly besmirching, in shocking fashion, a persistent pop culture icon in a matter of minutes. But Arthur's still finding his place in this new world, and after so many centuries without him, Merlin's loathe to do anything that might knock his confidence or rob the increasingly plentiful smiles from his face. 

Besides, there's a war on, dammit, and Merlin knows all too well that in wartime sacrifices have to be made – and he'll take a debauched rubber ducky over a dead friend in any lifetime.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Created as a Merlin Writers Tropes Bingo prize for ArgentSleeper, for the prompt: rubber ducky
> 
> I invite you to check out:  
> [ArgentSleeper's Tropes Bingo fills](http://merlin-writers.livejournal.com/182688.html?thread=2307488#t2307488)  
> [The entire Tropes Bingo Collection here on AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/tropes_bingo/works)  
> 


End file.
